82 lines
2.1 KiB
TeX
82 lines
2.1 KiB
TeX
% LoVullo Specification Specification
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%
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% Yep.
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\documentclass{lvspec}
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\usepackage{multicol}
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\usepackage{graphicx}
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\makeatletter
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\def\@lvspec@titlecmd{%
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\includegraphics[scale=0.5]{images/dilbert-time.png}
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\vfill
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}%
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\makeatother
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\begin{document}
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\title{LoVullo Specification Specifications}
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\author{Mike Gerwitz}
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\abstract{%
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\setlength\columnsep{-5ex}%
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\begin{multicols}{2}
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\begin{quote}
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\sl\small\raggedright
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\def\ind{}%
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%
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In the beginning was the plan,\\
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\ind and then the specification;\\
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And the plan was without form,\\
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\ind and the specification was void.
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And darkness\\
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\ind was on the faces of the implementors thereof;\\
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And they spake unto their leader, saying:\\
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``It is a crock of shit,\\
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\ind and smells as of a sewer.''
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And the leader took pity on them,\\
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\ind and spoke to the project leader:\\
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``It is a crock of excrement,\\
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\ind and none may abide the odor thereof.''
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And the project leader\\
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\ind spake unto his section head, saying:\\
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``It is a container of excrement,\\
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\ind and it is very strong, such that none may abide it.''
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The section head then hurried to his department manager,\\
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\ind and informed him thus:\\
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``It is a vessel of fertilizer,\\
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\ind and none may abide its strength.''
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\goodbreak
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The department manager carried these words\\
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\ind to his general manager,\\
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and spoke unto him\\
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\ind saying:\\
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``It containeth that which aideth the growth of plants,\\
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\ind and it is very strong.''
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And so it was that the general manager rejoiced\\
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\ind and delivered the good news unto the Vice President.\\
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``It promoteth growth,\\
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\ind and it is very powerful.''
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The Vice President rushed to the President's side,\\
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\ind and joyously exclaimed:\\
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``This powerful new software product\\
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\ind will promote the growth of the company!''
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And the President looked upon the product,\\
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\ind and saw that it was very good.
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\hfill---The Jargon File
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\end{quote}
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\end{multicols}
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\bigskip
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}
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\maketitle
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\end{document}
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